The Joy of Having Something to Look Forward To

I have a theory that one of the reasons life can feel a little different as we get older isn’t because we have fewer things to do. It is because we sometimes have fewer things to look forward to.

Think about it.

When we were younger, there was always something coming. A birthday. Summer vacation. A wedding. A new job. A child’s soccer season. Christmas morning. Someone coming home from college.

Even when we were exhausted, there was usually a date on the horizon.

Then, gradually, life changes.

The kids grow up. The big milestones become less frequent. Our calendars can become filled with appointments, errands and obligations rather than the things we are counting down to.

And one day, you may realize that you aren’t unhappy at all.

You just haven’t been looking forward to anything lately.

I think that’s worth paying attention to.

Sometimes the joy in life isn’t just in what we’re doing. It’s in knowing something wonderful is waiting for us.

The Strange Happiness of Anticipation

There is something almost magical about knowing something good is coming.

You might be folding laundry on a Tuesday afternoon, but part of your mind is already thinking about Friday night’s dinner. You’re driving home from work, but you’re also thinking about the trip you’re taking next month. You’re having an ordinary week, but there is a weekend away sitting quietly on the calendar.

Nothing about Tuesday has actually changed.

But Tuesday feels different because Friday is waiting for you.

I think we sometimes underestimate how much anticipation adds to our lives. We experience the excitement when we make the plan, again when we think about it and finally when the day arrives. Later, we get to experience it all over again when we remember it.

That’s a pretty wonderful return on one good plan.

Somewhere Along the Way, We Became Very Good at Managing Life

For years, many of us are focused on what needs to be done.

Make the appointment. Pay the bill. Get everyone where they need to be. Buy the groceries. Answer the email. Remember the birthday. Keep the house running.

We become very good at managing life.

But somewhere along the way, we can forget to ask a different question:

What would be fun?

Not productive.

Not necessary.

Not something that will make us more organized or accomplished.

Just fun.

Maybe that is one of the unexpected gifts of this stage of life. We have a little more freedom to decide what deserves a place on the calendar simply because it makes us happy.

And I think we should use it.

You Don’t Need a Big Event

The things we look forward to don’t have to be impressive.

A lunch with a friend can give an otherwise ordinary week a little sparkle. A dinner reservation can make Friday feel special. A book you’ve been saving can make a quiet evening something to anticipate. A day trip, a movie, a walk somewhere beautiful or a Saturday morning with nowhere to be can be enough.

I don’t think we need to fill our calendars with elaborate plans. In fact, I think the opposite can be wonderful.

A life can have plenty of quiet days and still feel full.

It just helps to have a few little sparks scattered throughout it.

Try Anticipation Stacking

I like the idea of having several small things to look forward to rather than waiting for one enormous event.

Maybe there is something small happening this week, something social next week, a dinner or day trip next month and a bigger adventure a few months from now.

None of these things has to be extraordinary. Together, they create a feeling that something good is always somewhere ahead.

This is especially nice when life feels a little repetitive. You aren’t trying to escape your everyday life. You’re simply giving it a few bright spots.

A dinner with friends can make the week feel different. A weekend away can make the weeks leading up to it more exciting. A trip six months from now can give you something to talk about and dream about long before you ever pack a suitcase.

The anticipation becomes part of the experience.

Take a Look at Your Calendar

This is something I think is worth doing every once in a while.

Look at your calendar and notice how much of it is made up of things you have to do.

Then look for the things you genuinely want to do.

If there aren’t many, perhaps that’s your sign.

You don’t need to overhaul your life. You can simply put one thing on the calendar that makes you happy.

Call the friend.

Make the reservation.

Buy the tickets.

Plan the weekend.

Choose the restaurant.

Invite people over.

Pick a Saturday and decide that you’re going somewhere you’ve never been.

You don’t need a special occasion to create one.

We Get to Decide What Comes Next

This may be one of the best parts of getting older.

Nobody is necessarily going to hand us a calendar full of milestones anymore.

And honestly, that’s kind of wonderful.

We get to decide.

We can be the one who says, “Let’s go.”

We can start the tradition. We can plan the dinner. We can buy the tickets. We can text the friend we’ve been meaning to call. We can decide that October is going to be ridiculously fun, that this is the year we’re finally visiting that place we’ve talked about for years, or that every December we’re going to host the people we love.

We don’t need permission.

We just need a date.

A well-spent life isn’t a calendar packed with plans. It’s a life with enough little moments of anticipation to keep you moving toward tomorrow.

Some Things Become Traditions

Some of my favorite things to look forward to have become traditions.

The annual dinner. The holiday gathering. The trip. The girls’ weekend. The party we host every year.

Eventually, you don’t just look forward to the event itself. You look forward to the fact that it is coming again.

There is something comforting about knowing that a particular time of year will bring something you love. You remember the years before it, start thinking about this year’s version and begin making plans long before the actual day arrives.

That may be one of the sweetest things about traditions. They give us something to anticipate before we even know exactly what the next version will look like.

And they don’t have to be elaborate.

A tradition can be as simple as going to the same restaurant on your birthday, taking a particular weekend trip every fall or having friends over for dinner on the first cool evening of the season.

The anticipation itself becomes part of the tradition.

Not Everything Has to Be Productive

I think this deserves saying because so many of us have spent decades being productive.

We have accomplished things. Raised families. Built careers. Managed households. Taken care of other people.

Not everything we put on the calendar now needs to improve us.

It doesn’t have to teach us something.

It doesn’t have to advance our careers.

It doesn’t even have to be particularly important.

It can simply make us happy.

There is value in having something on the calendar that makes you smile when you see it.

You Can Create the Feeling You Miss

Maybe this is part of why having something to look forward to becomes especially meaningful in this stage of life.

When our children were young, anticipation was built into our lives. There was always a holiday coming, a season changing, a birthday approaching or someone to pick up from somewhere.

Now we have more control over the rhythm of our days.

We can decide what we want to anticipate.

And maybe that is more empowering than we realize.

We don’t have to wait for a major milestone to make life feel special. We don’t have to wait for someone else to invite us somewhere. We don’t have to wait for the next vacation or holiday to arrive.

We can create little moments of excitement along the way.

A dinner.

A trip.

A visit.

A new experience.

A tradition.

A Saturday morning.

Something that is completely ordinary to everyone else but makes us happy because we chose it.

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Explore More

If you’re thinking about this stage of life and finding new ways to make it feel full, interesting and distinctly your own, you might also enjoy:

• What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Life After the Kids Leave
• When the House Gets Quiet
• Empty Nest, Full Life
• Making New Friends as an Empty Nester
• Why the Empty Nest Was Good for Our Relationship
• 25 Things That Make an Empty Nest Feel Like a Fresh Start

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